Skinny is just Math.

Alright so today I wanted to talk a little bit about how to deal with going “out” for dinner!


Just to touch on something I said earlier in my blog, it’s really important to not restrict yourself from enjoying the foods you love or the restaurants you love. This can just cause us to want to break the restrictions and we end up often making not-so-good choices. So, I’m going to give you a few tactics that I use when I want to go out to a restaurant for a nice dinner.


1. Do some research ahead of time.


Pre-plan your meal! A lot of restaurants have web pages now and they have easily accessible nutritional information. Alternatively a lot of PDA and data devices have applications available to help you with this search on the go! Then you don’t have to mull over the menu and be tempted. You can also make considerations for how you want to choose your meals earlier in the day to allow for a special dessert or a glass of wine – whatever your tastebuds desire!


2. Don’t be afraid to ask!


If you don’t have access to the internet in order to preplan, never be afraid to ask for the nutritional information listing from your server. All restaurants are required to have the information available – either in a form you can take away with you (which is handy to keep on file for later!) or a booklet that has to stay in store. They are often more than glad to get it for you so that you can make a healthy choice.


3. Eat what you want, just eat less of it!


So you want to have some pork ribs – nothing wrong with that! Go for it! With your nutritional information in hand, just do a little bit of math. If your ribs are 800 calories, and you want to have more than just ribs, section them off. Ask for a doggie bag right away and have them halve the portion into the container. That way you’re eating more responsibly, you’ll have some for lunch the next day and you can still afford to have a side with your ribs!


4. Choose your side wisely, young skywalker!


We all love fries. Come on, admit it. But we also all know that they aren’t that great for us. There are often many other delicious options available that we can replace our fries with and this will make a significant difference in the fat and calorie content of our meal. Check the menu for your choices – they often range from garden salad, (César salad but its sometimes more), seasonal vegetables, a single veggie choice, soup, or baked beans. They may also give you other options for how you want your potatoes cooked – baked, mashed etc. If you don’t see the choices, ask your server!


5. They don’t put water on the table to look good!


There is water on the table at most restaurants, and it’s a great way to reduce your calorie intake. A glass of water while ordering will help you consume less of the food you love. It is also a great replacement for empty calories from sugared sodas, milkshakes and sweet alcoholic mixed drinks. I personally will always skip the pop/juice at dinner and replace it with water. (Also, if you want to know a little secret, the ice cold water on the table actually burns a few calories (12 I think), while your body warms it up after you ingest it!)


6. Share! (Its hard to do, but a valuable lesson learned in preschool)


So, you want that cheesecake mousse. And it’s givin’ you the eye. “I’ve made good choices tonight!” you think. You’re going to order it but you don’t know if you should eat all of it. No problem! If you’re out with girlfriends, I’m sure there is another of your friends that would be glad to share with you (especially if you’re on the healthy journey together!) Or, if you’re out with your spouse or partner you can ask for two spoons and romantically share you dessert. You’ll eat it more slowly and enjoy it! (Maybe you'll burn off the calories later!)


7. Ditch the filler. It just fills out your pants!


Bread on the table, Starters – they’re bad news. Why waste your calories on bread? Deep fried cheese sticks don’t really fill you up. Avoid these diet-busting foods at all costs.



Hopefully I’ve been able to give you a few good tips that you can use, especially with the holiday season upon us. There is absolutely no reason why you can’t enjoy your office party – just enjoy it smarter! 
Don’t forget to watch my blog tomorrow for an “inches update”! I’m also going to doing a Vlog tomorrow about some of the top *diet* killers. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll learn about what you’re putting in your mouth!

Why lying to yourself is the worst thing that you could possibly do!


Ok, so first off I want to thank you for continuing to follow and also to congratulate you if you're following along with me! 

Today I want to talk a little bit about honesty. No, I'm not talking about lying to partner about liking their parents.  I'm talking about honesty about yourself to yourself.  I can see you all rolling your eyes now. I bet your expecting me to do some shmultzy "talk to yourself in a mirror" thing.  No. That annoys even me. 

Let me tell you a short tale about how what I considered "confidence" and "comfort" with myself was actually just a big pile-o-denial. 

I've always been a confident girl. I'm overweight, yeah, but I carry it pretty well and I've always been of the "If  you don't like it, don't look at it" opinion.  (Granted, I always dress myself appropriately for my size.)   The rare moments when I was unhappy with my body I didn't really share with anyone, and most of the time I was comfortable with my weight.  I would make jokes about it and my friends and family would chastize me and correct me.  I would laugh and say "awww, thanks."  Little did I know that I was letting them contribute to my denial.  You see, by making a joke out of it I wasn't taking it as a serious matter (and it is!) and then by allowing my family to correct me I was essentially letting them tell me that I'm not fat.  It fed my denial. 

Now, I completely believe that it is a good thing to be comfortable with yourself.  I think its important for women of all shapes and sizes.  However, being over-confident lets us evade the truth. 

So I have made the choice to be open about my weight.  Not only because I think that it will keep me on track, but because being honest with myself and my family and friends about my weight is a constant reminder of WHY I am doing what I am doing.  The minute I deny the truth, is the minute I forget why I'm changing and I go off track. 

 Today, I said something about being fat and a darling friend of mine corrected me. I stopped her, and I reminded her that by correcting me she was creating a sense of complacency and acceptance about what I consider to be completely unacceptable now; something I am trying to change.   In essence, its like reinforcing an alcoholic or an addict.

So now, I am going to challenge you.  I'm going to challenge you to be honest to yourself.  I'm going to challenge you to refuse to accept the false sense of complacency. 

Be TRUE to you. Be Honest about these few things.

I am overweight. 
I am changing.
I will be healthy.

I'm doing it. I KNOW I can succeed, and I know you all can too.

So, honesty! It works!

I can't even imagine what type of attack my fat could prevent.  I really don't think it would save me from any onslaught.  So, I ask the question - why? Why lug it around like a bulletproof vest? 
Its a hard question to answer, and for me it wasn 't up for discussion.  I did't NEED armor, so of course I wasn't using it that way.  Of course, that was all lies.  Lies I told myself so that I could avoid facing the reality of things; my fat was my excuse.  For me, fat was an excuse to not do things, to continue negative habits and my defense system against reality.  It was all tied up in my issues with "failure" (among other things).  If I was too fat to do something, then I couldn't possibly fail at it - right?  Wrong. Using your fat as an excuse can only be classified as one thing: Epic Fail.  (Yes, I hear all you gamers out there 'lol'ing.)  Its true though. 

I started gaining weight after a very tragic experience in my life.  My first week of college I was drugged and raped at a party.  It was hard, and not the first time I had experienced a sexual assault.  Being away from my family and thrust into another city all alone made it hard to deal with.  It was easier to just be me, alone, safe in my room with my Doritos and Chips Ahoy (and IRC! ha!).  It was recently suggested to me that the reason I started to rapidly gain weight was as a deterrent.  Now, I can't say exactly what happened but I do know that it was a very hard time for me and looking back it seems completely plausible that my weight gain was justified in my mind.  "If I'm unattractive, they won't hurt me again."  I can see that logic, however flawed it is. 

The logical side of me of course says that this is ridiculous, and that it wasn't my fault. I know this. I've put in many hours of healing and come through the other side a stronger person.  I'm far more confident than I was and more self assured.  However, the more I think about it, the more I believe that the scared teenage girl in me still holds onto that belief and uses fat as a way to protect her from being hurt again.

She really couldn't be more wrong, because in effect what she did was trade the fear of one potential assailant for the certainty of another.  Yep, thats right, its like being in a fight with a ninja and a pirate and then grabbing the pirate and using the pirate to fight off the ninja. You know full well that after that ninja goes down, the pirate is gonna turn on you. 


At some point its time to whip out your own weapons (knowledge and confidence being two), as I did, and get ready for the fight of your life.  Its time to take down that peg-legged, heart disease and diabetes causing marauder.  Its time to say "I'd rather defend myself than use you and have you secretly stab me in the back!"

It may be a tough decision to come to, or hard to imagine not having your 'armor' there to protect you.  But, much like we have to get rid of the ugly sweater were so used to having around, we also have to stop using our fat to protect us.  It doesn't. It hurts us more than it helps. 


I know that each and every person goes through their own personal experiences and we all have our own personal (and often private) reasons for why we eat and how we ended up here.  I can't possibly speak for everyone. 

I do feel however, that there is one piece of advice that I can share with you all.  By continuing to use your fat as a 'bullet proof vest', you're contributing to the belief that you're a victim.  It doesn't really matter what you're a victim of but if you're protecting yourself from pain, you're admitting that you believe you will be a victim in the future.  I firmly believe that we make our own reality with how we think and how we behave (Yep, I made myself fat - no one else really to blame, and I've accepted that).  I also believe that continuing to believe that I was a victim was only creating that reality for me.

So, if you can work through your blockage or your issue and stop actively (or passively) contributing to your own victimization, you may just be able to hang 'im from the yardarm - the pirate I mean!

Yo Ho Ho Lassies!

I can see you already laughing at the title....oh come on, we all have one.  It may be a sweater but it could be that pair of socks, the jeans, that old pair of underwear or ratty old t-shirt.  Maybe its worn in sneakers - who can say.   No matter what it is, we all have one.  One old, ugly piece of clothing that is SO ten years ago.  It has stains, it doesn't fit, its dated. You know that no one likes it.  Hell, you don't really like it.  The thing is, its been around so long that its managed to get itself entwined in your memories.  You're so comfortable with it that you cant let that ugly, unattractive, useless sweater go.
Now stop for a minute, and I want you to think about that piece of clothing.  Slowly, I want you to think about that sweater as your own extra body fat.  Its that old, ugly thing that you're so used to, that you can't even  imagine yourself without it and you certainly can't fathom throwing it out! After all, you've had [that] sweater since grade seven!  I know it seems hard to admit, but maybe its time to just, throw that sweater out.  Don't donate it  (NOBODY wants it, trust me!), don't put it away in a box.  Chuck that nasty thing; burn it even! (But make sure to get all the small animals out who have made it a home over the years!)    Tie that bag up, carry it to the curb and do your million dollar happy dance. 

When you've had that million dollar happy dance and you've decided to throw out your fat, you're completely at peace with the trip - the trip to the new you.  If you're not quite ready to get rid of that sweater yet, I challenge you to read on.  You may come to realize how many things that sweater has actually taken away from you.

OMG not MATH! I thought I left that stuff in Highschool!!!!

The first thing I learned was how to figure out how I have to FEED my body to keep it functioning. I mean, more specifically, how many calories I have to eat to maintain my weight. There is a neat little formula that can determine this for you - which is of course an approximation, but nonetheless a very handy piece of information.

Its called your Basal Metabolic Rate. Pretty much, how many calories you would burn if you pulled a Brian Wilson (just layed around in bed). Id give you the equation but its annoying and so much easier to have a little gadget do it for you! So, go to this link here and it will help you calculate your BMR. Now, one thing you have to remember is that as you lose weight, your BMR will change, so you have to remember to regularly recalculate.

Basal Metabolic Rate

For example, when I weighed 300lbs, my BMR to MAINTAIN my weight was 2611. I weighed this morning and I'm at 297, which means my BMR has changed slightly and is now at 2590 to maintain.

Now, the BMR basic calculation is pretty basic, as it doesn't take into account lean muscle mass etc. However, its a pretty straightforward place to start.

Knowing is half the battle!

So, that was pretty interesting, but here's where the fun stuff starts. Remember what our BMR was? Good, we're gonna need it for the next part. But before we start we need to understand fat - in a calorie sense.

One pound of fat is 3500 calories. Wow, seems like a lot right? Not really, not if you spread it out over a week. 3500/7 = 500/day! That's not so bad, seems so much less challenging.

Now, we know that 500x7 days = 3500. The question is, what do we do with this information? Well, if we were to take your BMR and add 500 calories to it, we would GAIN 1lb a week. Alternatively, if we reduce our intake by 500 calories a day then we would LOSE 1lb a week.

Surprised? I was. That's pretty easy. I mean, how easy is it to plow down 500 calories in potato chips on a Friday night? Oh, remarkably easy I'm sure. We're all guilty of those choices now and then. But if its that easy to eat them - then we have to make it easy to say no.

I have to admit, I HATE counting calories. I think its obsessive. However, I think it is partly required. I don't want a diet. I want a long term lifestyle change, and that could take some time to adjust to. I need to try things to see how they fit and watching the calories I consume is going to help me make smart decisions; at least until they start come naturally or I develop a nice mental library of them. I've been keeping a diary of my intake, with a goal of creating at minimum a deficit of 500 calories a day.

One piece of advice that I have to share is to NOT restrict yourself. We all know that when we had a curfew as teenagers the first thing we wanted to do was break it. So, if you really want to have something - ice cream, chocolate, pretzels - HAVE IT. Just have less of it. Only take a small bowl with you to the TV. If you have a problem with portion control, go and pick up the 100 calorie snacks. (Be careful of the sugar in them though).

I hope this has introduced all of you to my plan, and maybe some of you can use it!

However, sitting here and blogging isn't helping me get exercise so I'm off for a walk!

Ciao Bellas!

When I decided to make this change to my life, I was at my absolute heaviest.

I'll be honest about it. There's no sense lying - it just contributes to denial and we all know what denial does; it keeps us fat. Truth is, at over 310lbs (I'm 6' tall), I wasn't healthy. I didn't FEEL healthy. My partner started complaining that I had started to snore, my hips started to hurt and I was tired all the time.
I got sick with the flu - and I never used to get sick. So sick that I quit smoking (yay!) and I haven't smoked in four weeks. I decided that if it was that easy to kick a nicotine addiction, the most addictive substance (so I hear) on the planet, then how hard is it to kick my addiction to food? Well, a bit harder than I thought, but nothing that was unachievable.
So I started thinking about it. Just a little bit. And then, a miraculous thing happened. I woke up one day and I said - I'm SO done. I'm done being fat. Dear god, let the skinny girl out of my fat suit! And that was it.

Most of you who have known me for a long time, have known that I've been a chubby girl through most of my life. Not always straight up FAT, but I've definitely never been bone thin. I don't think I ever will be. I always remember in college, when I thought I was fat. I'd give all the cookies in the world to go back there and slap myself silly. So, I'll do the next best thing. My college weight is my goal. One year is my time frame.

Technically I started this about a week before Hallowe'en. I'm at the two week time frame right now and I'm down to 299. I know that seems like a lot of weight to lose in such a short period of time, and I was a bit concerned as well - but from what I understand its normal to have a short rush of weight loss.

I'm learning a new way of living. New daily routines. How to say no. I'm learning not to eat my feelings anymore, and how to take delight in whole foods. I've detoxed the waste out of my lungs, my organs - the sugar out of my blood. I've had the mood swings, headaches and sleepy spells while my body adjusted to its new life. And guess what? I made it clear through to the other side. I still have my challenges - hell, who doesn't. I'm human but I'm trying and there isn't any damned cookie thats gonna fuck this up for me!

I've given myself 365 days to do it. October 31st is my date. And all I need is math. (Who would have thought!)